6 /30/23
I had a close encounter with a butterfly yesterday. Don’t worry, I’m okay. It happened in Key West, which was our cruise ship’s first port of call. Since we began our Virgin Voyages cruise, we’ve been in for one surprise after another, some pleasant, some not. But nothing prepared me for our trip to The Key West Butterfly & Conservancy.
First of all, the weather was extremely warm, like Deep South warm, which makes sense when you’re in Key West. It’s the southernmost point in the U.S. In fact, Key West has a gigantic marker that says “Southernmost Point.” People pose in front of it so they have photographic proof that they stood at the point where there’s no more U.S., as if people would otherwise say they were lying without the photo.
“Oh, you did not go to the southernmost point, you big fat liar! Where’s your proof?”
We decided to try the hop-on, hop-off bus to explore Key West. It wasn’t really a bus. It was more like a gaggle of oversize golf carts hitched together. The driver provided insights and witty remarks as she pointed out the sights.
“And here we have where President Harry Truman did his heaviest drinking when he visited. And to your right is where Ernest Hemingway lived with his six-toed cats. But he did a lot of drinking too, so there’s no telling how many toes the cats actually had.”
Then we reached the Southernmost Point marker. The line to take a photo next to the marker stretched down the block.
“And here we have the Southernmost Point marker. You are now officially closer to Cuba than to the nearest Walmart.”
The text on the marker says that Cuba is only 90 miles away, like we needed the reminder that we may have another Cuban Missile Crisis on our hands.
“And up ahead we have the Butterfly House…”
In Key West they give butterflies their own houses? Inquiring minds had to see what that was all about, so we hopped off the bus that wasn’t really a bus.
But there’s a legal way to hop off the bus and an illegal way. Our driver said we could be arrested if we did it wrong. You’re supposed to wait until the vehicle pulls into a designated station before you get off, otherwise you could get flattened by a vehicle in the street. A mother-daughter demonstrated the wrong way to do it for us. They hopped on while we were in motion, hesitated, then hopped off, nearly falling on their faces in the process and wiping out two bicyclists, one pedestrian, one postal worker, and a six-toed cat.
We got off the proper way and walked to the butterfly house. To say that the butterflies were waiting for us would be an understatement. Over 50 species of butterflies, flamingos, and various small birds were contained within the Eden-like arboretum. But only one inhabitant had eyes for me. Or, rather, it had eyes for my shirt.
I never go cruising without sporting the latest fashions. On this occasion, apparently, I had my most delectable cabana wear. A butterfly landed on my back and began munching on my beautifully colored shirt, mistaking it for its lunch perhaps. Or maybe it thought I was a long-lost relative. In its open-wing position, the butterfly was a perfect match for my shirt. It stayed attached to me for the entire time we were in the butterfly house.
I thought about that butterfly as we returned to the cruise ship. Was it the reincarnation of a loved one bidding me hello or just a fellow traveler trying to give me ideas for my latest blog? In front of us, a drunken couple struggled to walk straight. The gentleman kept crashing into the posts of the metal detector. My butterfly would’ve floated straight through with one wing tied behind it’s back.
#FunnyButterflyTaleswillbemynextblog
