Living Well is the Best Revenge
5/6/24
In case you were wondering how those bear cubs are doing who were forcibly removed from a tree to pose with selfie-takers in April, one of the bear cubs is supposedly doing well at an animal sanctuary (the other bear cub hasn’t been found; see my post titled Un-Bearable). The press is reporting the story as a happy ending, but is it really?
I’m sure the Appalachian Wildlife Refuge, where the bear is being rehabbed (or should I say “habbed,” due to its young age), is a lovely place. But an orphaned bear is still an orphaned bear. To its credit, the refuge allows cubs to gain weight and learn survival skills before they are released into the wild at about 7-8 months old, and they make sure that their bear residents have the ability to search for food (brought in daily) before they are released.
But is that really what the bear wants? Has someone asked the bear? If they did, I imagine a TV interview would go something like this:
INTERVIEWER: We’re here with the famous orphaned bear cub. Can you tell over viewers how you’re doing?
BEAR: It’s been unbearable. By the way, I can say that. You can’t.
INTERVIEWER: Understood. You must miss your mom and your sibling. I assume you have some choice words for those people who pulled you from the tree.
BEAR: Grrrrrrr…..
INTERVIEWER: Understood. But you know what they say about the best revenge, don’t you? Living well is the best revenge.
BEAR: Oh, really? Is that what you humans say when you’re yanked from the hiding spot where your mom painstakingly put you while she went to find dinner? Oh, that doesn’t happen to you because if someone did grab you that would result in kidnapping and possibly human trafficking charges? I had a lot of mother’s milk coming to me. Who’s going to give me that, you?
INTERVIEWER: I can see the wounds are still fresh. Let’s move on. When the wildlife refuge releases you, what are your plans?
BEAR: You mean will I be able to survive without the benefits of parental involvement and become a respected member of society, or will I focus every fiber of my being on getting payback for what happened to me? Say what you mean!
INTERVIEWER: Uh…
(Bear grabs the microphone.)
BEAR: If you’re watching this, you selfie sickos, I’m coming to get you! I’m going to find out where you live, drag you out of your house, take pictures, post them on social media… and then I’m going to start acting like a bear!
Yikes. The orphaned bear is expected to be released into the wild this fall. I would advise certain someones to mark their calendars accordingly.
#YogitheBar-Bearian
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