He’s not your average Yankee.
10/5/22
Last night history was made in Texas. After battling through adversity and injury, and constantly being under scrutiny, and earning vastly less than a star athlete should be paid, one man stands alone at the end of the baseball season. But enough about my dream from last night about playing softball again. Let’s talk about Aaron Judge of the New York Yankees.
Aaron Judge set the all-time American League homerun record last night with his 62nd homerun of the season. He’s a giant on the outside, standing at 6 feet 7 inches and weighing 282 pounds, but on the inside he’s far from intimidating. He’s a God-fearing man, loves dogs, chews gum, says “no sir” and “yes ma’am,” turned down the chance to play football because he didn’t want to hurt anyone, maintained a 3.2 GPA in school, and loves his mama. In fact, when he hit his 61st homerun to tie the record last week, he handed the ball to his mom. But I’m sure she gave it back to him after he cleaned up his room and did all his homework.
Let me say right up front that I’m not a Yankees fan. I won’t say which team I’m a fan of, but the name rhymes with Schmets. Regardless, the Bronx Bombers have terrorized my life for as long as I can remember. I grew up in an era when the Yankees stole all the newspaper headlines, all the pennants and the World Series, and all the hearts of the cute girls who wouldn’t even think of having a conversation with a Schmets fan. George Steinbrenner was the owner of the Yankees when a concept called free agency was just making the rounds in baseball (in the 1970s). And he didn’t waste a minute purchasing all the best players, the same way you and I might purchase socks—by the pack.
It’s hard to argue with his strategy. The Yankees have won 27 World Series, making them the most successful American sports team. And now every team uses free agency to fill their rosters. But one of the easiest World Series victories the Yankees ever had resulted in one of the darkest weeks of my life.
The year was 2000. They called it the Subway Series, a meeting of New York’s two baseball teams. It was supposed to be historic. It wasn’t. It was supposed to be one for the books. If it was a book, it was a children’s book or a comic book. It was supposed to be a moment I’d cherish forever. I think I still have PTSD. I remember clutching my commemorative 2000 World Series baseball as the Yankees batted us around like we were Chris Rock, and they were Will Smith.
Fast forward to last night’s game. Remember last year when Tom Brady’s 600th touchdown pass ended up in the hands of a fan? Remember all the commotion about how much the ball was worth (somewhere between $500k-750K)? Going into last night’s game, seats in the left field stands of the Texas Rangers’ stadium, where Judge was likely to hit his homerun, sold out fast. The fans who packed those seats all dreamed of becoming instant millionaires—the ball already valued at $2 million, but only if Judge hit his historic homerun. Time was running out. The regular season was ending. Whatever homeruns Judge might hit in the playoffs wouldn’t count toward the record. Fans everywhere were in a frenzy. What a shame if Judge didn’t hit the homerun. What a payday if he did.
In the first inning of the second game of a doubleheader, Judge launched a ball to left field. But it wasn’t one of his 400-foot blasts. This one was barely getting out of the park, if it got out. Every fan in the vicinity raised their hands to catch the prize, even one fan not in the vicinity. If you watch the video below, you will see a man in blue, on the left, jump from the stands and disappear while a man in black, to the right, catches the ball. Is that not the perfect opener for a new Wide World of Sports show? The thrill of victory and the agony of de….AAARRRGGGHHH!
The man in blue fell from a railing that was at least 12 feet off the ground. The man in black is still floating on Cloud 9. The man in blue will forever be known as the guy who face-planted trying to catch a ball. The man in black will forever be known as that lucky son of a gun. The man in blue was promptly seized by security and thrown out of the stadium. The man in black had his ball certified and kindly handed back to him. The man in blue’s new name is Mud. The man in black’s is Johnny Cash Me In, I’m Worth About 2 Million Now.
Congratulations to Aaron Judge and the team he plays on. I can’t even say their name anymore. Might as well call them The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. The playoffs start tomorrow, and Aaron Judge’s team has already punched its ticket to the big dance, World Series bound if you believe everything the baseball experts are saying. But to all those experts I say, “Not so fast.” Could they possibly be tripped up by another team, another rival team maybe, another team that’s been waiting all these years for some payback? Aw, but who am I to speculate? I’m no expert. I’m just a schmexpert.
#goSubwaySeries
